There were many things that I could do with this time. Read. Job-hunt. Exercise. Write. Clean. Plan.
Since I took the bar exam at the end of last month, I have felt adrift. I have lacked focus. This was not necessarily a bad thing at those moments. Actually, in the moments where I was spending quality time with family, I felt quite content. I began making slight changes in my lifestyle.
- Eating better. Eating less. Eating consciously. Wandering through farmer's markets and health food stores. Experimenting and exploring.
- Creating. Really diving into my art journaling and expressing myself creatively.
- Exercising and Meditating. Allowing myself to fully embrace yoga and enjoy being a novice yogini.
- Just taking one day at a time.
While the "one day at a time" approach has been lovely, reality (and fear) smacked me in the face this morning as I entered the house with no kid in tow. What the heck am I supposed to do now?
Be grateful. I am supposed to be grateful and grow. I am supposed to take this time and allow myself to move in a newer, happier direction. The best part has been that AB has been right next to me the whole time. She tries out new foods with me. She journals with me. She does yoga with me. She is on this journey with me.
Everyday, I am learning something new from parenting because no two days are ever the same. She throws me for a loop at least once a day. I am more observant about what and when she eats and how it affects her energy levels and moods. I haven't paid this close attention since she was a baby and I was recording her feedings. I have found that the more aware I am of how she reacts to different foods, the better able I am respond to her. Since I am able to (somewhat) anticipate, I feel like I am a calmer parent, more able (and willing) to enjoy the time we spend together.
Here is to living fully, creatively and mindfully.
