On December 13, 2005,exactly three months ago, I went from being a single young professional to working mother. At the age of 22, this was a very depressing thing. Suddenly I went from just being a someone's girlfriend to being someone's partner. Just add water and boom, instant family. I never pictured it this way. Of course I was supposed to be married before I got pregnant or at least in a stable relationship. Of course I was supposed to be established before I got pregnant, owning my own home with a solid career. That all went out the window when I became involved with an emotionally unstable but very charming Bostonian with sparkling blue eyes. Love greatly impairs one's judgement. This wasn't our first pregnancy either. I had an abortion 9 months before Annabelle was concieved. I know, I know. I am one incredibly fertile idiot of a female. So now this blue-eyed babe is a stay-at-home dad to our brown-eyed babe. This means he brings in no income. Not that he was consistently to begin with prior to Annabelle. This frustrates me to no end. Honestly, it would just be cheaper to pay for childcare.
I had many great aspirations prior to these chain of events. I was supposed to become the first black woman President of the United States (this was prior to my knowledge that Condi Rice existed). I wonder how these past two years of my life will play out with the voters? Time to get back on the straight and narrow. Though I don't see marriage anywhere in the near future.
I aspire to be (not in any particular order mind you): a lawyer, writer, businesswoman, judge, professor and supermom. So at this point first on my list is law school. I was dead set on track with this when I was side-tracked by the blue-eyed babe. *sigh*
I have a feeling that this first entry is coming off a bit bitter. I am not completely disgruntled. Annnabelle is the light of my life. I want her to have the very very very best in life. Private schools and the whole lot. I just don't think her dad and I are on the same page regarding that. I am very much in love with him but our backgrounds are just so completely different. I had a better upbringing than him both financially and emotionally. I think that is why the main word I can use to sum up our relationship is "frustration". Regardless, I plan for my child to be the eager beaver overachiever just like her mommy, aunt, uncle and grandparents.
