Brown-eyed babe recieved her very first party invitation on Monday. It is a first birthday party for one of the brown-eyed babe's baby buddies at daycare. This shall be the first soiree that is geared toward her. Exciting for her. Scary for me. This means that I will now have to actually interact with other mothers. Egad.
Oh, the anxiety.
I see brown-eyed babe's baby buddy Monday through Friday, but I have never seen the mother. She is not my friend. She is not even technically an acquaintance. But our daughters are "friends". By no choice of their own, and babies aren't very discriminatory when it comes to their peers.
Therefore, thanks to the fact that brown-eyed babe is a budding social butterfly I must get a gift and sit with strangers for two hours. All in the name of babyhood. The gift. What to get? I have no idea. Should it be a toy? Or clothes? It's not like a baby shower where there is some sort of registry.
Plus, there is the guilt I feel for all the moments that I compared brown-eyed babe to her baby buddy and found my child to be cuter, smarter, etc. etc. Not that she necessarily is, but it's a knee-jerk reaction. I can't help myself.
So here is to a socially awkward situation that is most likely all in my head.
9.21.2006
9.07.2006
Not Ready to Make Nice Part II
Brown-eyed babe's father was none too pleased when I informed him that I had sent in the paperwork.
Note to self: When potential suitor is neglecting to pay child support for his first child, do not expect for him to willingly pay child support for the child the two of you may one day have.
He is dead set on the illusion that he was this great guy. Sadly, I think that he really believes it. But the fact that he could not keep his fists and rude comments to himself kind of negated the flowers and candy in my book.
But...
I am a wuss, and continue to hope that he will be struck by lightening (figuratively of course) and realize that he needs to step up to the plate and be an adult. It probably won't happen, and I will be completely bitter and jealous when 10 years down the road he finally gets it right with some other woman.
What is it with women and feeling like we can change a man? If he wants to change, he will change. Blue-eyed babe has been having people make excuses for him all his life. Sure he's knocking on 30's door, but why should he suddenly take on an responsibility when all the women in his life are bending over backwards to make things easier for him. I was a member of this crew and I still kind of am, sadly.
Yet, I must fight this feeling. What the heck am I protecting him from? Me? What point is there in feeling the wrath if I am going to shield the person it is directed toward who is more than deserving of it? All it does is cause a great deal of heartache for me while he is like Teflon.
My heart and my brain are at odds here.
Note to self: When potential suitor is neglecting to pay child support for his first child, do not expect for him to willingly pay child support for the child the two of you may one day have.
He is dead set on the illusion that he was this great guy. Sadly, I think that he really believes it. But the fact that he could not keep his fists and rude comments to himself kind of negated the flowers and candy in my book.
But...
I am a wuss, and continue to hope that he will be struck by lightening (figuratively of course) and realize that he needs to step up to the plate and be an adult. It probably won't happen, and I will be completely bitter and jealous when 10 years down the road he finally gets it right with some other woman.
What is it with women and feeling like we can change a man? If he wants to change, he will change. Blue-eyed babe has been having people make excuses for him all his life. Sure he's knocking on 30's door, but why should he suddenly take on an responsibility when all the women in his life are bending over backwards to make things easier for him. I was a member of this crew and I still kind of am, sadly.
Yet, I must fight this feeling. What the heck am I protecting him from? Me? What point is there in feeling the wrath if I am going to shield the person it is directed toward who is more than deserving of it? All it does is cause a great deal of heartache for me while he is like Teflon.
My heart and my brain are at odds here.
9.06.2006
Hello, grasshopper.
Happy birthday, grasshopper!
Today is my sister turns the big three-oh. She is officially no longer a twentysomething. Congratumalations, you fantasmic chica, you.
Today is my sister turns the big three-oh. She is officially no longer a twentysomething. Congratumalations, you fantasmic chica, you.
9.05.2006
Not Ready to Make Nice.
This morning I placed the big brown envelope in the big blue box. I mailed my paperwork requesting child support.
Big moment.
For the past 5 months I have held out home that blue-eyed babe would realize his responsibility and voluntarily contribute to the financial responsibility that is brown-eyed babe. I recieved one money order for $50 back in early May and nothing but empty promises since.
I want for things to be amicable between us and he took great advantage of that. It saddens me. Alas.
No more Ms. Nice Ex.
Mother, the gatekeeper, has yet again proven that she is always right. She was right about the car, she was right about the job, and she was right about blue-eyed babe. I should listen to her more often. Smart lady.
Big moment.
For the past 5 months I have held out home that blue-eyed babe would realize his responsibility and voluntarily contribute to the financial responsibility that is brown-eyed babe. I recieved one money order for $50 back in early May and nothing but empty promises since.
I want for things to be amicable between us and he took great advantage of that. It saddens me. Alas.
No more Ms. Nice Ex.
Mother, the gatekeeper, has yet again proven that she is always right. She was right about the car, she was right about the job, and she was right about blue-eyed babe. I should listen to her more often. Smart lady.
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