Be A Mother, Not A Friend.

{image via weheartit}

As you all know, I love my kid. I adore my kid. I think that she is the best thing since sliced bread.

However, I am not her friend. And I surely do not want her to think that she is mine. Nor do I want her to describe me as her "best friend" when she is older. 

Do I want us to have an open and supportive relationship? Absolutely. But will I be sharing everything with my daughter? No.

I think the "friendship trap" is something that a lot of single mothers fall into. The dynamic between a single mother and her daughter is bound to be different. However, the boundaries must be established. Whenever I hear a mother-daughter relationship described as "best friends", I always cringe a little inside. I want for AB to know that while I love her dearly, she is not my partner or my equal. There will be no clubbing or bar hopping nights in our future. I will not be crying on her shoulder about any future heartbreaks. I'm her mother. Not her friend.

As mothers, I believe we do our daughters a disservice if we blur those lines. Our daughters should see us as their rocks. This is not to say that we should be entirely devoid of feeling or a complete stick in the mud. However, I believe that we should not be sharing all of our lives with our daughters. Our daughters do not need to meet every gentleman who takes us out on a date. Our daughters do not need to hear about how much their fathers hurt us or how badly they screwed up. Our daughters deserve to have mothers who provide stability, authority and structure.

Be her protector, her confidante, her role model. Be her mother, not her friend.