Primary Race?

When I was registering AB for kindergarten, I was quite shocked that the form required that the parent/guardian indicate a “primary” race of the incoming student.

Primary? Meaning of first rank, importance, or value.

How is a multicultural kid supposed to pick race? How unfair is it to require that children are supposed to identify as one race or another?

My daughter is half African-American and half-Caucasian. 50-50. Half of me and half of her dad. So, which of us is more important?

I eventually checked the “African-American” box for primary and the “Caucasian” box for other. Why? Because I am the one who is raising her. I’m the primary parent.  Therefore, for statistical purposes AB will be categorized as African-American.

But how would she have answered the question?

Honestly, I have no idea. My multicultural kid has no real concept of race. She understands that not everyone looks the same. She understands that people speak different languages. She understands that her skin is lighter than mine yet darker than her father’s. When she draws pictures of herself, she picks up the light brown crayon as opposed to the dark brown or the peach. But if you ask her what she is?

She’ll say that she’s a girl and she’s 5 & a half.

Frankly, I like it that way.

I know that once she is older, she is going to be asked that question…alot. Probably to the point of great annoyance. Perhaps she will struggle when she is older and defining herself as she tries to find her place in social circles. Or maybe (in a perfect ideal world) it will be a non-issue as the number of kids identifying as multiracial grows. So, why bring it up so soon?

She knows what Mommy looks like. She knows what Daddy looks like. She knows what Grandpa & Grandma and Grammy & Grampy look like. She knows that she is a mix of all of them.  She knows that she is loved.  I think that’s enough for now.

In the meantime, I shall be indignant on her behalf.  “Primary race” ?  Heathcliff Huxtable says it best:  “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life!"