Brown-eyed babe's father was none too pleased when I informed him that I had sent in the paperwork.
Note to self: When potential suitor is neglecting to pay child support for his first child, do not expect for him to willingly pay child support for the child the two of you may one day have.
He is dead set on the illusion that he was this great guy. Sadly, I think that he really believes it. But the fact that he could not keep his fists and rude comments to himself kind of negated the flowers and candy in my book.
But...
I am a wuss, and continue to hope that he will be struck by lightening (figuratively of course) and realize that he needs to step up to the plate and be an adult. It probably won't happen, and I will be completely bitter and jealous when 10 years down the road he finally gets it right with some other woman.
What is it with women and feeling like we can change a man? If he wants to change, he will change. Blue-eyed babe has been having people make excuses for him all his life. Sure he's knocking on 30's door, but why should he suddenly take on an responsibility when all the women in his life are bending over backwards to make things easier for him. I was a member of this crew and I still kind of am, sadly.
Yet, I must fight this feeling. What the heck am I protecting him from? Me? What point is there in feeling the wrath if I am going to shield the person it is directed toward who is more than deserving of it? All it does is cause a great deal of heartache for me while he is like Teflon.
My heart and my brain are at odds here.
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