The Secret Handshake.

I recently had one of those great reading moments where the universe seems to align perfectly for the sole purpose of enhancing your engagement with a piece of writing.

Last night, I was reading Every Day Is for the Thief by Teju Cole (the revised version recently reissued by Random House.) It dovetails quite nicely with the novel I finished last week, Americanah by Chimanda Ngozie Adiche. All references of a Nigerian expat returning to Lagos were fresh in my brain. I can see the walls of the compounds, the shady police officers, and the internet cafes, all thanks to Cole and Adiche unknowingly working in tandem. I had a feeling of contentment for having chosen to read the right book at the right time. (It's the little things that make a bibliophile's heart swell.)

Then, I get to a point in the book where the narrator starts analyzing John Updike, the subject of the biography I am currently reading by Adam Begley. So, despite having only read one Updike novel and only being halfway through Begley's book (which is very well done, by the way), I completely understood the references to Updike's style and hometown of Shillington, PA. At this point, I have hit that level of happy where I just have to keep reading because I am having such a great time. I am actually grinning as I turn the pages.

And then the literary powers that be take it to the next level. While I read in the evening, I generally have jazz on in the background. It helps mask the goings on of my neighbors (and prevents me from inadvertently hearing Game of Thrones spoilers) so that I can focus on the task at hand. The narrator in Every Day Is for the Thief is describing how he spends his nights in his bedroom attempting to listen to Giant Steps by John Coltrane over the loud hum of the generators that kick on during the inevitable power outages. And what song should I be listening to at that very moment but Giant Steps by John Coltrane! I kid you, not. My mind was blown. I had to put the novel down and pause to give the moment its due.

This book might have to go on my favorites list for this experience alone. It was like the heavens opened up and the angels sang. It is that moment that every reader dreams of when it seems as if the book were written specifically for you. The author is talking directly to you. You are the target audience. You have gained entrance to the super elite club. You know the secret handshake.

This is why I read.

Thank God for Kid Kits.

I now understand why my parents were so reluctant to allow us to have friends over.

It's exhausting. 

Raina Telgemeier

You have to entertain ("Moooom, they don't want to play with any of my toys anymore. What should we do?!?") You have to play referee. ("He's not sharing!!!"). You are not responsible for just your child anymore. ("Get down from there, please. It's not safe to climb on the balcony.")  You want them to stop eating up all your food. ("Can we have a snack, please?" "Oooo, can I have one, too?!") You just want these kids out of your space as soon as humanly possible. "Okay, kids, it's time for you to go play tag outside. Ready...set...GO!")

Or wait...maybe that's just me. 

The awesomeness of a family friendly apartment complex is the built-in friends. There is always someone for AB to play with. There is  a communal safe space in the courtyard where I can keep an eye (and ear) on her. There are moments where I am filled with joy as I hear their laughter or one of the other kids calling her name as they play hide and seek. Awesome, awesome, awesome. 

But sometimes, outside play just isn't enough. Sometimes, kids want to play with the seemingly new and exotic toys of the other kids. Sometimes, an only child craves the opportunity to play older sibling to other kids. Sometimes, said kid will desire to play hostess only to get quickly overwhelmed to the point where said kid is no longer having fun. 

Very quickly, I had to learn how to navigate this new development in her social life. And I am still struggling with it. The worst thing is that this is what I wanted! This was on my bucket list, to live in a place that is large enough for AB to have her own space and feel comfortable having friends over. Mission accomplished. But be careful what you wish for, right?

I knew that the dozens of Baby Sitter's Club books that I consumed years ago were going to come in handy one day. To ensure my sanity, I had AB and I create our own Kid Kits, one for toys/activites/games and one for snacks. The toys/activities/games are ones that she is not invested in and will not shed tears over if they are broken, used up or lost. The snacks are cheap but healthy and do not leave me feeling that I have to do my grocery shopping for a four children instead of my one kiddo. The kits are refreshed monthly and my stress level and AB's meltdowns have been greatly reduced. 

So, here's to allowing AB to binge read the Geronimo Stilton series (and spinoffs) for who knows what seeds of awesomeness are being planted in her brain that will bear fruit just when she needs them. 

She Has Grown.

She has grown.

An apple a day...

And she won't stop growing.

No matter how many times I implore her to do so, she just...won't...stop.

She reads chapter books and listens to boy bands.

She likes to exchange knowing looks when we see other kids acting out in public.

She writes me letters when she is upset with me.

 

She wears scuffed brown boots and skinny jeans almost every day. 

She remembers the name of my boss.

She has given up on the possibility of a younger sibling.

She is a stickler for schedules.

She just wants people to be nice to each other.

She has grown. 

And she won't stop growing.

This is a good thing, right?

Booklist: Ruby B.!

Last night, while AB & I were chatting, she interrupted herself mid-sentence. Her eyes got as big as saucers as she said very excitedly, "Oh, Mom! I forgot to tell you! At school today we saw that picture! Of that girl! Her name is Ruby! Her last name starts with a B! It's the picture we have!"

I had no idea what picture she was talking about, but for some reason the first word that came out of my mouth was "Bridges?"

"YES! Ruby Bridges!" She jumped up and ran to one of our many bookshelves, searching until she found what she was looking for. She handed me a postcard that has this image on it:

The Problem We All Live With by Norman Rockwell

 

I instantly had a "this is awesome" moment that included the following thoughts:

1. My kid recognized a famous painting. Awesome!
2. My kid's teacher is discussing this famous painting and the story behind it. (Super) awesome!
3. My kid is super psyched about what she learned at school. Awesome!

So, in the spirit of this awesomeness, I decided to make our first booklist of 2013:

  The Story of Ruby Bridges by Robert Coles & illustrated by George Ford

 

Norman Rockwell: Storyteller With A Brush by Beverly Gherman

 

Ruby Bridges Goes To School: My True Story by Ruby Bridges

 

Norman Rockwell by Mike Venenzia

Through My Eyes by Ruby Bridges

 

Norman Rockwell Coloring Book

Happy Reading!

 

Awesome Girl.

As the year winds down, AB has undertake a new challenge: learning to ride a bike.

She has been the queen of optimism, while I try to maintain good cheer as I realize that running alongside your newbie cyclist is the mother of all core workouts. After one particularly good run, she grinned at me and said:

"I'm Annabelle the Awesome Girl and I'm never going to give up."

I promptly gave her a high-five and a kiss, then sent her on her merry way again.

Here's to having an "Awesome Girl" attitude in 2013.

Miss Independent.

Summer is (unofficially) over. AB is back in school. New teacher. New babysitter. New backpack. New kicks. In the mornings when I do her hair, she watches The Electric Company instead of Sesame Street. There is no hassle at the door with shoes because she can tie them herself. At drop-off, instead of walking her to her classroom door she requests that we say our goodbyes about 10 feet away from where her classmates line up because she's a "big girl" now and can go by herself.

This morning she said to me with a huge grin, "Aren't you glad that your child is growing up?" (I kid you not.)

Yes....and no.

It is rather incredible to see her able to do all this new things without my help. It makes me feel like I'm doing a pretty good job at this parenting thing. But at the same time, there is a slight sadness that she doesn't need me to help her do these things anymore. Then I see how excited she is about everything, and the sadness disappears.

As I watched her confidently walk away from me this morning, I had a moment where I thought, there is no going back.

Look out, world, Miss Independent is coming through.

Articles of Interest.

{Image via The Alantic}

A round-up of interesting articles about books, parenting, creativity, and education from around the web:

• 8 Great Picture Book Biographies - Reading Rockets 
• What Grown-Ups Can Learn From Kids Books' - The Atlantic
• Gear for a Stellar First Day of School - Daily Candy
• How to Read a Victorian Novel - Novel Readings
• Back-To-School Blues - My Brown Baby

Happy Reading!

Mommy Guilt Redux.

I feel like I should be Queen of Transitions at this point given all the various major life shifts I have made over the last 7+ years. Yet, with each one, no matter how much planning I do in preparation, it is a major shock to the system. While all of the changes have been for the better, it always feels not-so-awesome at the beginning because it's just plain different (which often translates into difficult).

The fact that AB is older is a bit of a double-edged sword. The good: We are able to have actual discussions about the changes and all the good things that will come from said changes. The bad: She is able to express her dismay about our being apart in a more mature (= more heartbreaking) way than ever before.

The tears, pleas, and letters (oh, the letters) leave me second guessing, as always, whether I am doing the right thing. I know that I am  and I know that I am going to feel guilty. But, I also know that she is going to be fine.

That I'm going to be fine.

That we're going to be fine.

Just as we have been every other time.

29 Ways To Stay Creative

{video via TO-FU}

29 WAYS TO STAY CREATIVE
1. Make lists
2. Carry a notebook everywhere
3. Try free writing
4. Get away from the computer
5. Quit beating yourself up
6. Take breaks
7. Sing in the shower
8. Drink coffee
9. Listen to new music
10. Be open
11. Surround yourself with creative people
12. Get feedback
13. Collaborate
14. Don't give up
15. Practice
16. Allow yourself to make mistakes
17. Go somewhere new
18. Count your blessings
19. Get lots of rest
20. Take risks
21. Break the rules
22. Don't force it
23. Read a page of the dictionary
24. Create a framework
25. Stop trying to be someone else's perfect
26. Got an idea? Write it down
27. Clean your workspace
28. Have fun
29. Finish something

Hey, Mom!

There were multiple times this morning when AB interrupted me while I was working. Normally, this would have driven me up the wall. But today, I found it endearing.

  

 

The Top 3 Interruptions:

  

1. Kiddo tucked the entire hem of her dress into her underwear. She strutted toward me as if on a catwalk: "Hey, Mom! Check out my dress. I like it like this."
2. Kiddo runs toward me with her favorite yellow cup, mouth full of carrots: "Hey, Mom! I made a snack. It's grapes, raisins, and carrots! It's soooo yummy AND it's good for me!!!"
3. Kiddo rushes in and plops herself next to me, pressing her tiny warm arm into mine and giving me a kiss (and a whiff of peanut butter breath): "Hey, Mom! I love you! Bye!"

  

Ditto, my love.

Book Review: Spark & Hustle

This week there have been an interesting set of articles about the lack of bestselling women business writers. While this may be true statistically, I found it odd because the majority of business books that I read are by women authors. Granted, not all of them are bestselling, but if you look for them, they are there.

One of the most recent business books I have read is Spark & Hustle: Launch and Grow Your Small Business Now by Tory Johnson. It was quite good. I’ve got a bunch of bright orange post-it notes sticking out of it marking concepts, ideas, and systems that resonated with me. The book delivers exactly what it promises in the title. It takes you through the initial idea of starting your own business to launching said business to scaling the growth of your business.

This book is like a small business mentor in a box. In addition to being the founder and CEO of Women For Hire, she is a contributing editor at Success magazine and a contributor for Good Morning America. Not to mention, a wife and mother. She provides plenty of examples both from her own business experience, as well as business owners who have worked with her. So, there is no question that Tory knows what she is writing about. She breaks down the daunting task of starting and managing your own business into actionable chunks. None of the concepts in the book are all that revolutionary (which is true of the majority of the business books on the market), however, her presentation is top-notch.

The best parts of the book were the sales and marketing, the “hustle” of Spark & Hustle. There are a great deal of books out there that help aspiring entrepreneurs to find the spark, but not as many that explain how to execute the hustle. The book covers a lot of topics including product manufacturing and launches, pricing, referral requests “cold calling”, pitching to angel investors, and creating a media kit, just to name a few. The author is honest about the work that is necessary to make your business successful, but definitely makes you feel like it is something that you can tackle. Each chapter ends with “Act Now”, a list of takeaways from the chapter topic that you can immediately act on.

So, if you have ever entertained the notion of starting your own business whether full-time or on the side (and really who hasn’t with this economy), Spark & Hustle is definitely a must-read.

It won’t come down to where (or if) you went to school. It won’t come down to how much (or how little) money you have in the bank. It won’t come down to who you know. It won’t come down to the dream you have. It won’t come down to all the noise and chatter. Your bottom line will ultimately come down to what you do….Don’t get bogged down in assuming you’re lacking this, that or the other. You have exactly what it takes to create the success you envision. Now it’s up to you to put it into action. – Tory Johnson

Book Review: The Great Big Book of Families

This book makes me super happy. It's a must read for ALL families. It should be in every classroom. It should be required reading in every elementary school. Yes, I feel that strongly about the importance of this book.

The Great Big Book of Families is fantastic. It is a celebration of all different types of families. It encourages a discussion with children about their families with simple text by kidlit veteran Mary Hoffman combine with cartoonist Ros Asquith's fun multicultural illustrations. This book covers everything from homes (some families live in big houses and some live in tiny apartments) to school (some kids are homeschooled) to vacations (some families visit other countries, some go on day trips, and some can't afford it) to feelings (some families are more expressive than others and most importantly, all families are happy all the time) and a great deal more. The Great Big Book of Families ends on the key point that families change due to a variety of things: jobs, feelings, marriages, divorces, births, adoption, etc.). The fact that your family looks one way today does not mean that it will not look a different way next year, next month, or even tomorrow.

AB and I had a great talk about the book. We talked about her friends' families, our own family and even made a family tree like the one in the book. While it may just be the two of us right now (as Mary Hoffman reminds us, "You can be a family with just two people"), her family is much larger than the two of us and there are a great deal of people who care about her even though she doesn't see or talk to them every day.

So, here's a challenge: Ask your child how they see your family today? How do they see their friends families? Their answers might (pleasantly) surprise you.

Articles of Interest

[image via Mothering]

A round-up of interesting articles about books, parenting, creativity and education from around the web:

• Why Women Still Can't Have It All - The Atlantic
• Sorry, Lego. THIS is What Awesome Toys for Girls Look Like - Girl Empowerment 
• Summer Reading List 2012: 10 Essential Books for Cognitive Sunshine- Brain Pickings
• Reinventing Education To Teach Creativity And Entrepreneurship - Fast Company: Co.EXIST
• Top Picks for Summer Reading: Graphic Novels with African American Characters  - School Library Journal
• Planting Peace on the Summer Solstice - Mothering

Happy Reading!

Empowering Video: Grasshopper

On Wednesdays, I share a video that facilitates empowerment because when you know better, you do better.

FYI: Entrepreneurs can change the world.

Proud Mama.

The past few weeks have been full of milestones big and small for AB. She successfully completed kindergarten, testing well above grade level. (While I hate the thought of my kindergartener being tested at all, it's a spoonful of sugar that she did well.)

Last week, she completed her Lego Robotics camp, rubbing elbows with 4th and 5th graders and holding her own. She even made a new friend, an 8 year old, whom she would trade books with during free time. (Yay, for bookish nerdy kids!)

In addition, she has completed two summer reading programs, receiving two awesome brand spanking new prize books: Smile by Raina Telgemeier & Muggie Maggie by Beverly Cleary.  

Proud mama = me.

Therefore, I am ready to let the summer fun of sprinkler dancing, beach excursions, quality time with the grandparents, and book picnics begin.

Articles of Interest.

A round-up of interesting articles about books, parenting, creativity and education from around the web:

• Music of Kindness: Playing Together Strengthens Empathy in Children - Creative Boom
• Does Computer Engineering Barbie Discourage Girls From Pursuing Math and Science?- GOOD
• A Mr. Rogers Mashup on the Importance of Make-Believe - PBS
• Sargent Shriver = The Epitome of A Good Man- Maria Shriver
• How to integrate literacy with STEM  - The Answer Sheet
• Author Nathan Englander Writes A Love Letter to The Moth - The New Yorker

Happy Reading!

Empowering Video: Cheryl Strayed

On Wednesdays I share a video that facilitates empowerment; because when you know better, you do better.

Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story...

In the Week 2 webisode for Wild, the first selection for Oprah's Book Club 2.0, author Cheryl Strayed reveals how she overcame the fear that set in while hiking the Pacific Crest Trail solo and rewrote her own narrative.

Book Review: Lexie

Lexie is 10 years old and going to the shore for the first time since her parents' divorce. So this is her first time going without her mom. Shortly before she and her father arrive at the beach house, her father informs her that his girlfriend will be joining them. Lexie has only met Vicky two times. But, she's okay with Vicky maybe coming out for a day. However, when her father tells her that Vicky is staying for the whole week and bringing her kids, Lexie is not pleased. She was looking forward to a week of one-on-one time with her dad.

The reader learns through bits and pieces, comments and observations by Lexie, why her parents' split up. We learn of the effect that the demise of their marriage had on Lexie as she worries about her dad's behavior will lead to a fights with Vicky. After the first few tense moments, she comes to see that Vicky is different than her Mom. The things that would aggravate her mom don't necessarily bother Vicky. In addition, her father acts differently with Vicky. Things that Vicky says that would have caused a fight had Lexie's mom said them, he laughs off.

Lexie is not hoping for her parents to get back together. She has accepted that they will date other people. (she has a good relationship with her mom's boyfriend, George.) but she is not as accepting of having to share her dad with other kids. Yet, her resentment toward moody teenager Ben and sticky-fingered preschooler Harris (who prefers to be called Mack, like the truck) lessen as she spends more time with them.

My only complaint about the novel was that Lexie seemed to come around to quickly to the idea of her father's remarriage. Having a stepfamily sprung on you is a big deal. Yet after spending only a few days with these people, she's okay with it. But after having thought about it more, it does fit with Lexie's character. She isn't upset that her dad is creating a new family. She is angry  that he didn't talk to her about it. She got no warning, no heads up that her life was about to drastically change. The author does a wonderful job portraying the awkwardness of two single parents attempting to blend their families. It is also an illustration of the importance of communication with our children. While her father is waiting for the perfect moment to tell Lexie about his plans, she is left feeling out of the loop and abandoned because she doesn't know where she fits in.

Lexie by Audrey Couloumbis is a great summer read for any kid, but especially for kids whose parents are no longer together and beginning to move on with their lives.

Bonus: Illustrations by Julia Denos!

Articles of Interest.

A round-up of interesting articles about books, parenting, creativity and education from around the web:

• Feed Your Kids' Creative Spark with Engineering - PBS Parents
• Remembering Ray Bradbury - The Paris Review Daily / Wired / The Guardian
• Skipping School: Why One Mother Ditched Her Daughter's State Testing - Babble
• Ray Bradbury on Space, Education, and Our Obligation to Future Generations - Brain Pickings
• Is Fiction Changing, for Better or Worse? Have novels become more entertaining, and less of a cultural touchstone or a political voice? - NYT Room For Debate
• Want To Spark Your Creativity? Go Outside - The Cultured Seed

Happy Reading!

Empowering Video: Dr. Jane Aronson

On Wednesdays I share a video that facilitates empowerment; because when you know better, you do better.

Dr. Jane Aronson founded Worldwide Orphans Foundation to help orphaned children become healthy, independent and productive members of their communities. In this video from TakePart, she and actor Andrew Garfield talk about a recent trip to Ethiopia and how Andrew is helping further Dr. Aronson's mission.